Little Red Riding Hood & the Three Little Pigs
by Da Sir 'n Knuffel Ify
Summary: This is a parody of little red riding hood and the three little pigs xD


Little Red Riding Hood and Three Little Pigs

This is the first fanfic i have done...plus it wasnt really supposed to be a fanfic..this is a play that me + some other peeps had to perform for Drama..and this is the first version (before we changed it and made it crappy)(i revised some of it too) with some of my commentary...U know what's sad...we got a C on it!!! That was really messed.

Anyways enjoy and i will try to find time to write a REAl fanfic.

P.S. i was the narrator and En= editor's note..its not An= Author's note cause i didnt write the whole thing

~Ify

Narrator: Once upon a time, in a faraway land, called Fairytale, there was a young, little girl named Little Red Riding Hood.

Red Riding Hood: "Okay Mom, I am off to deliver the basket of Oreo cookies I made for Grandma. Those are Grandma's favorites. She's sick, right? These'll make her feel better in no time!

Narrator: And with the basket of cookies, Little Red Riding Hood went off to her Grandmother's house.

Red Riding Hood: (humming quietly)

Narrator: While Little Red Riding Hood was making her journey to her Grandmother's house, she saw a pig and walking in the same direction as her and immediately thought he was really fat. He noticed her too.

Pig 2: "Hey Red Riding Hood! You want a ride to your grandma's house?

Red Riding Hood: "Sure!" _'Hey, this fat pig is really nice....but how did he know my name....?' she thought to herself._

Pig 2: Ok, but it will cost you. To figure out how much it costs, you have to find the answer of this math problem: The cost of riding me is 2 cookies per mile plus 15 cookies per day. How many cookies does it cost to ride me for one day if its 5 miles from here to your Grandma's house? (En: we had to include a math problem from the lesson we were currently doing in the play)

Red Riding Hood: "Umm so…if 'y' would equal the cookies while 'x' would equal the number of miles the equation would be y =2(x) + 15 because by multiplying 2 by the number of miles and adding it to 15 since we have to pay an additional charge of 15 cookies we would get the total cost. So, I would come up with the equation y = 2(5) + 15. Then, 10+15 = 25, since 'y' equals amount of cookies, I would owe you 25 cookies." _'Man that'a a lot...what a greedy, fat, but nice and smart pig.' Little red contemplated._

Pig 2: "Great Job! You're really smart!"

Red Riding Hood: "Here you go, there are 25 cookies."

Pig 2: "Thanks."

Narrator: So Red Riding Hood rides the pig to her Grandmother's house, but they get stopped by the BIG BAD WOLF. (En: kinda predictable wasnt it?)

Wolf: "Hey little girl on the fat pig, follow me and I'll to a shortcut to your Grandmother's house. And I am faster than the pig you're riding now--he's so slow it'll take you forever to get there."

Pig #2: HEY!!

Red Ridding Hood: "Oh, that's ok. I'm perfectly fine on this pig I already paid him 25 cookies."

Wolf: "Fine then. Be that way. You just paid him when you could have come with me and go faster for free."

Narrator: With that, the wolf left with an angry face.

Narrator: Meanwhile, at Grandmother's house, Grandmother and the two pigs were waiting Little Red Riding Hood's arrival.

Grandma: "Oh, I sure hope Red gets here soon."

Pig 1: "I hope she didn't encounter any trouble. She doesn't know the woods and its cruel creatures well."

Pig 3: "I'm sure she's okay. Don't worry about her. She'll be here soon with no problem."

Pig 1: "I hope your right."

Narrator: Now, back to Little Red and the pig.

Pig2: "It's a good thing you didn't listen to the big BAD wolf."

Red Riding Hood: "What do you mean?"

Pig 2: "I'm sure that the "shortcut" he was talking about led to his den. If you had followed him, you would have been eaten for sure. You were this close of being killed by the big BAD wolf.....plus i wouldn't give you a refund..."

Narrator: At the same time, the wolf was sneaking his way to Grandma's house. He had a plan to get revenge on Little Red Riding Hood and her pig and steal her cookies with no problem at all.

Narrator:The wolf comes upon three different houses and, sasdly for him, he did not know which was Grandmother's. One was made out straw, the other made of sticks and the last made of bricks. (En: You had that one coming xD)

Narrator: The wolf knocked on the fist door of the the house.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* (if you're wonderin why there are so many sound effects, its cause we needed at least five...and i added some)

Wolf: "Is anyone here?"

*silence*

Wolf: "If you don't open the door, I'll huff and puff and blow this house in!" (En: You HAD to expect that)

Narrator: And that's just what he did.

*Whoosh* *Crash*

Wolf: "Huh, i guess there really wasn't anyone in here. Oh, well.

Narrator: And so he went to the next house. And that whole scene was repeated

Wolf: "Only one house left to go."

Narrator: So the Wolf went to the house made of bricks and knocked as loud as he could.

*Bam bam knock*

Pig #1: "I wonder who that is."

Grandma: "Is it, Red?

Pig #3: "Oh, it must be, it must be, who else would it be?" (En: so oblivious and ignorant)

Grandma: "Is that you, Red?"

Wolf: (in Grandmother's voice) "Oh yes, it's me, Grandmother."

Narrator: After hearing that, the two pigs rushed excitedly to the door and opened it.....they were in for a big suprise.

Pig #1 & #2: You're not Red, you're the---AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Narrator: The wolf grabbed them and tied the two pigs and Grandmother up, shoved them in the closet and locked the door. Then he dressed up as Grandmother and climbed into her bed.

*knock* *knock**knock*

Wolf: (In Grandmother's voice,) "Oh, who is it?"

Red Riding Hood: "It's me Grandmother, Red.

Wolf: "Oh! Surely, come in dear."

Narrator: Red opened the door and came inside. The pig went in with her. (En: he wasnt even invited in..wat a rude pig)

Wolf: "Hello dearie. What have you brought with you?"

Red Riding Hood: "I brought some cookies for you to help you get better."

Wolf: "Oh! Thank you dear."

Pig #2:"...you're Grandmother is really BIG, Red...."

Narrator: Red took a good look at her Grandma for the first time.

Red Riding Hood: _'He's right..' she thought to herself._

Red Riding Hood: "Oh my Granmother....!"

Wolf: "What is it dear?"

Red Riding Hood: "What big eyes you have!!!"

Wolf: "Only the better to see you with, dear."

Red Riding Hood: "What BIG hands you have! I don't remember those big hands the last time I saw you!"

Wolf: "Only better to hold you with, dear."

Red Riding Hood: "What big TEETH you have Grandma? The last time I saw you, you barely had any left!"

Wolf: (menacing voice) "Only the better to eat you with!!!"

Red Riding Hood: "What the -----?!?!"

*Bam * *Bam* *Bam*

Pig 2: "What was that?"

Grandma: "HI-YAAAAH!"

Narrator: The REAL Grandmother knocked down the door with all her might and freed herself and the two pigs. They all tackled the wolf and got into a HUGE fight. Punches were flying and blood was splattered.

*bam**boom*

Pig2: "Ah."

Grandma: "Ugh."

Pig 1: "Take that!"

Narrator: The HUGE fight finally ended and by that time they had the wolf all beat up. Then they tied him up.

Wolf: "Aw mannnn……"

Red Riding Hood: "What a mean nasty wolf!"

Grandma: "For now we are going to a let you go……..but we better not see your face anywhere around here again!"

Pig 1, 2 and 3: "Yeah!!!"

Narrator: So they let him go back to the deep woods and the wolf ran away with his tail between his legs.

Wolf: "I will get my revenge!! Just you wait! I'll get you all!!!"

Narrator: Little Red Riding Hood, Grandma and the three little pigs feasted on the cookies and lived happily ever after without any interruption by the BIG BAD WOLF.

Grandma: *Yummy* Those are some wonderful cookies Red Riding Hood!

Red Riding Hood: "I know, right? Oreos are like the best."

THE END

R & R if you want to & thanks for reading ^_^


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